Lowey Alexander's memoir, Parenting Should Have Not Occurred, is an intimate and courageous chronicle of overcoming childhood adversity and forging a path toward a brighter, self-defined future.
When Alexander was only seven years old, he was thrust into an impossible situation. Forced to weigh in on whether his mother should stay with or leave his father. That harrowing moment fractured his sense of security and set the tone for a youth marked by domestic violence, neglect, illness, and emotional isolation. Raised in Oakland, he discovered early on that survival meant staying quiet, staying useful, and staying out of sight.
Behind the walls of his home lay asthma attacks, repeated hospitalizations, severe discipline, and hunger disguised as normalcy. He weathered cruelty wrapped in charm and bore the stinging label of coward simply for choosing survival over confrontation. Through Catholic school, questions of racial identity, and early explorations of faith, he navigated waves of shame, confusion, and a profound yearning to belong.
Yet this is not a memoir of accusation. It is a memoir of truth.
With unflinching honesty and thoughtful reflection, Alexander revisits the pivotal moments that shaped him, scrutinizing the lasting consequences of irresponsible parenting and the weight of being forced to grow up too soon. The book took root following the passing of his mother last February, an event that stirred a deep need to unburden his spirit. Writing became his path to inner cleansing, allowing him to release long-held pain and let go of lingering resentment toward both parents.
Despite the hardships of his formative years, Alexander went on to build an extraordinary life. Over the course of a 50-year career in Information Technology, he climbed from engineer to senior decision-maker. He also served as a dedicated youth sports coach and a recognized voice in the tech community as a public speaker. Above all, he takes immense pride in the father he became. After gaining custody of children from two separate relationships, he made it his mission to give them the love, stability, and security that had been denied to him.
At its core, Parenting Should Have Not Occurred delivers a message of empowerment. The trauma and neglect of one's early years need not dictate the trajectory of one's life. With personal accountability, courage, and determination, pain can be transformed into purpose, and a fulfilling, stable life can be built from the ground up.
This memoir stands as a testament to resilience and the profound strength found in choosing a different way forward.
Alexander describes his journey as "generation zero, where the cycle of abuse both began and ended" and speaks with deep pride about the life and legacy he has created for his family.
Parenting Should Have Never Occurred is available for purchase on Amazon and other online retailers.
Lowey Alexander on Global Book Network with Paul Ryden!
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